


But I Wore His Jacket For The Longest Time

by everyperfectsummer



Series: Tumblr Prompts [32]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyperfectsummer/pseuds/everyperfectsummer
Summary: Prompt: There are little things Mick does that scare Leonard, not that he’ll ever admit that out loud. Like the way he’ll just punch Leonard in the arm or slap him across the shoulders, always companionably, but without warning. Or the way he’ll crowd too close when they argue, face set in a glower, and hands clenched into ready fists. Or the way he’ll get really, really wasted and yell at whatever sport happens to be on TV. As much as it pains Leonard, though, he needs Mick. Needs Mick’s size and strength to back him up as he tries to make a name for them. Needs an enforcer he can trust. So he’ll just deal. (Unbeknownst to Leonard, Mick would be more than happy to accommodate.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lapsus_calami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapsus_calami/gifts), [writerdragonfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerdragonfly/gifts), [laCommunarde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laCommunarde/gifts).



> Title taken from a Richard Siken poem.

Here’s the thing. Len’s smart, not strong, clever and cocky and confident but he’s not good enough to back it up, not yet. Not until he can make a name for the two of them. He needs Mick. But even beyond that, even beyond basic survival, he needs Mick near him. Len’s pretty sure he loves Mick, that he’s sure of, but he loves him the same way he loves his Dad and Lisa: ever watchful, ever wary, ever aware that Mick can and might hurt him. Mick, for all that Len loves him - maybe  _ because _ Len loves him - is a threat.

 

And, sometimes, the threat looms larger than others.

 

The first time, it comes out of nowhere. One minute, they’re hanging out, laughing at one of Len’s puns, and the next minute he’s being punched in the arm. The blow is light, barely enough to make him adjust his balance, let alone actually hurt him, but it came with no warning, and that’s the scary part. If Mick had really wanted to hurt him, Len wouldn’t have even been able to duck.

 

It keeps happening, after that - Mick slapping him on the back, elbowing him in the ribs, punching him lightly in the torso. It’s all done lightly, jokingly, companionably, and it’s clear that Mick doesn’t mean any harm by it, but it’s driving Len’s instincts up the wall. He knows that if he flinches away, it’ll show weakness. Worse, it’ll make Mick think Len doesn’t trust him, and not trusting someone is the easiest way to get them to not trust you. So Len doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even frown, and starts returning the gestures in kind, trying to make it seem as though it’s all just one big friendly game to him. Just guys being dudes.

 

Sometimes, Mick isn’t threatening out of friendliness. Sometimes he gets angry, and a guy that strong, that wide, that  _ big, _ being angry at him? Is  _ terrifying. _ But it’s not just the sheer fact of his anger. When Mick is angry, he yells. He clenches his fists. He gets too close. He  _ looms. _ He’s every bad nightmare Len ever had, except that he doesn’t actually  _ do _ anything, just threatens. And not even verbally, either. While Len’s dad had been clear about just how he’d hurt his kids, Mick offers no hint, just pours aggression into every line of his body, and honestly? The anticipation of violence that never comes is almost worse than actually getting hit.

 

It’s worse when he’s drunk. Gets sloppy, uncontrolled. Easier to take down, in theory, but also easier to piss off, and so when Mick starts drinking Len starts tip toeing his way around the apartment. While Mick watches games and yells at the TV, Len hides in the bedroom or the kitchen, busying himself with whatever he can, frantically monitoring the sounds from the other room to check that Mick’s still caught up in the game, praying that whatever team Mick’s rooting for wins.

 

Len loves Mick, loves him in a bone deep, soul aching way he didn’t know was possible. But he doesn’t know how to love someone without fearing them. Even Lisa has hurt him before, modeling her behavior after their Dad’s. 

 

If he can’t trust Lisa not to hurt him, how can he trust someone who killed his own family? Len promised not to judge Mick for it, and he doesn’t, not really. He knows that when the fire grabs Mick’s attention, nothing else can compete, not even the screams of people he loves, or the fact that he himself is burning up. 

 

But if Mick could hurt his family, who he loved, no matter what the courts think...then him loving Len doesn’t make Len safe. Not at all. So Len remembers what his mother did, and copies her. He insists on being the one who sleeps closest to the door. He packs a go bag, and leaves it hidden in a building a few blocks away - safe, if Mick burns down the building, but close at hand, if he needs it in a hurry. He loves Mick. But he doesn’t let himself trust him. 

 

Eventually, the teetering card pile collapses. One day, Dad asks them to join him for a heist and, well - Len can’t really say no, so they come. And Mick sees them interact, sees how Len acts around Dad when he drinks, sees him hit Len in the face with no warning and Len stay polite afterwards, and Mick goes quiet for the rest of the evening. Doesn’t interfere, which Len is glad about, but doesn’t make the “look at how dumb I am” comments that Len’s grown used to, and Len’s slightly concerned.

 

The day after the heist is over, and they and the rest of the crew (including Dad) have parted ways, Mick starts behaving strangely.

 

Instead of wrapping an arm around Len and pulling him close as they watch - well, to be quite honest, Len’s not really sure what sport this is - Mick says “Mind if I touch you now?”

 

Len stares at him. “Sure? You don’t need to ask.”

 

“Boss,” Mick says, turning on the couch so that he’s facing Len instead of sitting next to him. “I think I do.”

 

Len’s honestly baffled by Mick’s behavior, which rarely happens. Normally, other people are asking  _ him _ to explain what’s going on with Mick. “Why?”

 

“Seems to me like we’ve got a problem.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You’re afraid of me,” Mick says flatly, and Len feels a reflexive denial on the tip of his tongue that’s silenced when Mick lifts a hand. “Please don’t lie and say you aren’t.”

 

There’s silence for a beat, and then Mick adds, “Just...tell me what I can do to make you less scared. Honestly. Please?”

 

Len’s used to being the wittiest person in the room, but now he doesn’t know what to say. “Um. I guess, what you suggested. So. If you could tell me, before you touch me?”

 

Mick just nods, like that’s a totally reasonable demand and not a huge show of weakness on Len’s part. “What else?”

 

What the hell. In for a penny - “And don’t grab me from behind?”

 

“This ok?” Mick asks, reaching for Len’s hand, and Len nods. Mick picks up the hand and kisses it, gently. “What else?”

 

Len doesn’t know if this is genuine, or some trick, but it’s  _ Mick, _ and if he can’t trust Mick he can’t trust anyone, so he adds, “Don’t be drunk around me?”

 

Mick smiles softly, and kisses his knuckles again, and Len feels like he’s breaking open.

 

“There’s something I want you to do for me, in exchange,” Mick says, and the betrayal is sharp but not surprising, almost feels steadying, in a weird way, until Mick adds, “tell me, when I make you uncomfortable. If I’m scaring you, that makes me feel bad. So don’t let me scare you, as a favor to me. Ok?”

 

Len feels something wet hit his cheek as he nods. “Ok,” he tells Mick, “ok.”

 

Mick moves forward slowly, telegraphing his every movement, and envelopes Len in a hug. “Love you more than fire, Lenny,” he says. “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”

  
Len still doesn’t trust Mick to keep that promise. But with Mick’s arms around him, it feels like maybe, one day, he might be able to.


End file.
